Tuesday, June 7, 2011

You can't have your cake and eat it too

It's funny how things "work out", if that's even what you would call it considering the circumstances. See, for the past month, I've been putting my life on hold to work on my appearance in the hopes that it will help me boost my confidence and eventually rub off in areas of my life that have been dormant since graduation ie. finding professional work.

I have been contacting this post-production house for a bit a few months ago and when they told me that they were too busy to take on a new intern, I sort of crumbled a bit inside. I mean, obviously that's not the only thing that has been a blow to me, but it certainly decreases my confidence.

So my life's been on hold and I wanted Thailand to be this epic time where I can escape "real life" for two weeks just so that I can reassess myself, I suppose. And I'm beyond excited about this. Thailand is all I think about these days.

Then I received a phone call from the post-production company, notifying me that they are ready to take on someone for a trial internship next week. I've obviously accepted. I'm obviously not sure how this will go, but if things go really well, I could be faced with the chance of a full time internship. But that will coincide with my trip to Thailand.

I know it might sound stupid that I'm not sure what decision to make, but this is what I'm thinking: I really want to go to Thailand. I've had these tickets booked for months. And really, I'm only going for 16 days. It's not like it's a permanent thing, you know? I mean, I suppose if they really want me to work with them, they can wait for me. But the problem is that my job starts at the bottom of the ladder. They could just see me as being very replaceable, and they might even be a bit angry at me for springing this on them? I don't know. But that's all hypothetical. However, I do think it's important for me to think about it anyway.

What would you do?

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