Wednesday, September 1, 2010

What are mums for?


Mums make your stomach feel better when it hurts

Mums give you an extra $20 because she feels sorry for you

Mums buy you a pink sack of warmness because the hot water bottle uses up too much water

Mums help you chop veggies when you make dinner because you chop too slowly and dad is hungry

Mums write your Chinese essays for you so your teachers think you're cool/easier to do than teach

Mums let you do art and literature because you failed chemistry and physics

Mums are extra nice to you when friends come over

Mums used to brush your hair in the morning because your hair was too long and it hurt your arms

Mums are extra sympathetic when you are sick

Mums give you her bowl of wonton soup because you like the soup and you are hungry

Mums make your cup of hot chocolate extra chocolate-y because you share blood

Mums let you sleep with them because you're scared of lightning and you start prep tomorrow

Mums let you wear whatever you want because she doesn't think you have the guts to be skanky

Mums make you tea in a thermos when you have work at 9:30 in the morning

Mums soak your feet in hot water because they hurt

Mums buy you two boxes of your favourite Chinese biscuit

Mums want to show off your awesomenss


Mums should take you driving so you can finally get your license

Mums should not mock you the day after you drunkenly stumble into the car

Mums should not make you go to school seven days a week and do an evening essay writing class, where you missed an episode of Charmed

Mums should not have fallen asleep during the Pokemon movie

Mums should wholly support your shoe fetish with cash

Mums should not complain that you don't eat pork

Mums should make your little brother do more chores

Mums should not compare you to her friend's daughter who looks like a model

Mums should let you copy their hair style

Mums should buy you more build-a-bears

Mums should treat you like her friend, not just her daughter

Mums should not find 23-year old babes and call them her adopted daughter

Mums should make the effort to understand you

Mums shouldn't call you fat

Mums should let you love whoever you want

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