Sunday, November 29, 2009


What does it mean to give too much? Should there be a limit? Should there be a compromise? Reciprocation is essential to such a bond. When two parties do not feel the same thing for each other then it is not a bond, just a one way street, or, if both parties feel nothing for the other, there's just no street.

So from the start, it is established that reciprocation is essential.

So why are things so one-sided for some parties?

I had one of those hypothetical conversations with my other party. It was upsetting, and it brought out issues I've never properly addressed. It made me realise that I would, as sad as it may be, do almost anything for my other party. And I know that my other party wont reciprocate what I do to the same extent.

This breaks my heart a little, but it makes me wonder if I should expect that. I do things because I know it makes my other party happy and it scares me that I find reasons to justify why my other party does not do the same back. I make excuses but they are valid excuses.

But why should I be expecting anything back? It's not about receiving anything, but I guess I no longer find joy in making people happy, and that's a horrible thing to say.

It's true though, and it's not just about this particular bond. If I were deeply unhappy, who is going to come over to my house and sit with me and let me cry in front of them? No one. I'm always the one coming to people.

Selflessness is dissatisfying and heart breaking when you realise that no one will ever do what you are willing to do for them.

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